Said+is+Dead+and+Went+is+Spent

Instructional Objectives:
For students to learn methods of improving their writing through specific word choice, and in doing so, improve in ideas and content as well as voice.

Specific Learning Outcomes:
Standard 1 – Writing: The student writes effectively for a variety of audiences, purposes, and contexts. Benchmark 2: The student writes expository text using the writing process.

1.2.13 Word Choice (prewriting, drafting, revising) Indicator: Selects words and phrases that are suitable and precise and which create appropriate imagery. (e.g. vivid verbs, precise nouns, natural modifiers).

1.2.2 Ideas & Content (prewriting, drafting, revising) Indicator: Clarifies the main idea by selecting logical, accurate, and helpful details.

1.2.12Voice (prewriting, drafting, revising) Indicator: Selects original and compelling vocabulary and/or figurative language to inform the reader.

Specific Learner Outcome:
All students will score higher on word choice using specific strategies such as strong action verbs, precise nouns, fresh imagery, and in doing so, will also improve scores in ideas and content and voice. Students will score proficient or higher on the seventh grade local writing assessment.

Content and Activities and Instructional Procedures:
Students will recall Show and Tell and discuss which held their interest more and why.

Class discussion on specific books students have read which have made them laugh out loud, cry, feel goose bumps creeping up their necks, etc. followed by a discussion on what each of these authors did to elicit that response (Power in words – POWER writing handout students will have already learned in teaching the steps of the writing process. Now writing can be powerful in another way.)

Game “Slither in, My Dear…” – a charades game He/she _________into the room. (staggered, tripped, moped, meandered, wandered, strutted, dashed)

The first writing assignment I ask of the students is a personal narrative, providing me not only interesting and sometimes entertaining information about them, but also the material for use for the next activity

Use of student writing excerpts on overhead(Specific Word Choices) – find the over-used or non-specific words – those empty words which add little meaning to the writing ( Go through each one, circling the problem words and explain the problems, the literal meanings)

Guided Practice – shoulder partners work together to improve a sentence using sentence strips which are displayed on the wall and discussed one-by-one so students can see the difference

Buried Words – tombstone handout – explain bulletin board I put in my room; this list can be added to throughout the year. Students practice locating “buried” words in a writing sample – Circle them as the find words which should be replaced Students view the revised piece which eliminates most of the “buried” words and discuss word choice, noting improvements in other writing traits

Independent practice – usually completing a word choice worksheet. (included a couple of these in your packet) Then students circle the buried words in their own writing piece.

Get rid of Get/ Synonyms for Said/ Synonyms for commonly used words in children’s writing (all handouts which I provide) Note* Some will rely on this too heavily, but for starters, it provides a tool or crutch, if you will, until they learn new vocabulary. Still, these words have different connotations, so they cannot just pick any suggested replacement word.

Students work to replace as many “buried” words as they can individually. When they have corrected as many as they can without assistance, I divide them into small groups to receive suggestions from others for the words with they have the most difficulty replacing (The “be” verbs generally make up this category.)

A full class period is usually dedicated to teaching ways to eliminate the “be” verbs

Handout with strategies to eliminate the “be” verbs

Using figurative language (usually a day reviewing this, as well) – handout is included in your packet

Students rewrite their assignment, focusing on the elimination of the “buried” words. Student examples (excerpts or maybe the entire paper) are viewed on the overhead (This time many students choose to claim their work)

Discuss the changes not only in word choice, but in supporting details and voice, which tends to happen when word choice is the focus Celebrate Victories – display in hall, place in folder for parent-teacher conferences, enter essay contests, etc.

Eliminating the “Be” Verbs
This task involves more than just crossing out the verb and replacing it with another word. More thinking is required. Below are a few strategies you can practice to remove those words from your writing.

Combine parts of two sentences. Example: My grandma is a very caring person. She works hard to ensure my happiness and safety. Solution: Eliminate all the words in sentence one through “is”. Begin your sentence with “A very caring person…” - combining sentence two into sentence one.

A very caring person, my grandma works hard to ensure my happiness and safety.

2. Show, don’t tell. How would I know she was mad by looking at her? (This is where details paint a picture.)

Example: She was really mad! Solution: Her jaws clenched, her face turned red as a radish, and steam seemed to roll out her ears!

3. Use figurative language where appropriate. Example: He was very happy. Solution: He leapt with joy, happy as a child on a snow day.

Create an appositive, and then say something pertinent about the noun. Example. My first car was a ’66 Ford Mustang. Solution: My first car, a sky blue ’66 Ford Mustang, provided me an escape from life’s drudgery.

4. For sentence beginning with the words 'There are' or 'there is' ...eliminate the first two words, and say something substantive about the topic. Example: There are many reasons for requiring students to revise. Solution: Many reasons abound for requiring student revision.