DawnPiece1

What doesn’t bug me? Today of all days I dare you to —find just one thing
 * What bugs me… **

I’m fat Nothing fits My hair is straight And won’t do a thing

Oh yeah, the ring My one piece of bling Fanciful thing It’s too tight…yay…

Ugh! That heat, so oppressing Sunshine, Humidity Come on AC! It's downright depressing!

I’m late There’s a train Then that guy in the truck What does he want? Huh, yeah, you too Have a nice day.

What bugs me? Oh, don’t even get me started.

//D. Pickens//

Dawn--I love the sarcastic tone of this poem. Good job!--Nancy

Meg - Oh, haven't we all had a day like this? I'm wonder if the rhyme scheme would be reinforced by: "It's downright depressing!" for Come on AC. It's your call.

I can relate!!! I really like "Huh, yeah, you too Have a nice day." Idea: You could capitalize "yeah" and You too" and possibly add a question mark, and maybe an explanation point to help emphasize the words. Thanks for sharing! Brett

Why don't you add the time on the end - something like "and it's not even 8:00 yet?" That might allow your reader to see that it's a crummy start to a crummy day. I really did enjoy your poem, it is so typical of a Monday. -Monica

I can so relate. You do a nice job of setting the scene. The time of day might be a decent addition if you wanted. You have incredible voice, though.-_Adrienne